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Double Standards - 10/19/2008 11:31:38 PM
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MaleorderBride
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My question is in regards to the double standards women hold.
I've heard many women bitterly accuse men of the double standards they hold over women, but I've noticed that when it comes to dating, they will refuse to date a Christian man if he isn't absolutely faultless. But they will readily date a non-Christian man and defend his bad behavior with the words, "He's only human."
Why don't women extend the courtesy of being human, and therefore prone to making mistakes and poor decisions, to Christian men?
_____________________________
Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 19:7
<= That ain't me by-the-way. I don't wear a handlebar mustache.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/20/2008 7:40:06 AM
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TNBelle
Posts: 419
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaleorderBride
My question is in regards to the double standards women hold.
I've heard many women bitterly accuse men of the double standards they hold over women, but I've noticed that when it comes to dating, they will refuse to date a Christian man if he isn't absolutely faultless. But they will readily date a non-Christian man and defend his bad behavior with the words, "He's only human."
Why don't women extend the courtesy of being human, and therefore prone to making mistakes and poor decisions, to Christian men?
I don't have any experience with Christian dating, so please forgive me if I'm off-base here. But it seems to me that a Christian woman who would date a non-Christian man, then defend (or even just tolerate) his bad behavior, isn't a person you should necessarily expect anything logical from. Just saying, it isn't logical to begin with.
Also, your post doesn't specify that you are talking about Christian women, I just assumed that so I apologize if I really didn't get to the heart of your question.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/20/2008 2:56:45 PM
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MaleorderBride
Posts: 64
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TNBelle
Also, your post doesn't specify that you are talking about Christian women, I just assumed that so I apologize if I really didn't get to the heart of your question.
You're right in assuming that I'm talking about Christian ladies. You're also correct when you say it isn't logical, but even illogic has motivation.
_____________________________
Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 19:7
<= That ain't me by-the-way. I don't wear a handlebar mustache.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/20/2008 3:03:50 PM
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MaleorderBride
Posts: 64
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quote:
ORIGINAL: car2ner
Ouch... we do that?
I guess everybody expects more of Christians. "Heathens" get a high-five for doing things that are daring and stupid but "Christians" get the you-should-have-known-better look.
I would like to think that if a woman lets a non-christian slide cause he is only human, he also can be only human and single. If a woman is looking for a husband, she should be more particular. So should men hoping to meet the future Mrs.
<btw, this isn't really me, either. 
I agree that there should be higher expectations for Christians, but there should also be the realization that we are human and fallible. We will make mistakes. Those higher expectations should be on whether we acknowledge that those decisions are sinful and do we repent and ask forgiveness for those sinful acts. And most of all, do we learn from our mistakes and desire to make ourselves better.
Unfortunately, Christian women seem to expect Christian men to have already arrived, so to speak. And that's not going to happen until we actually do arrive, in Heaven.
_____________________________
Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 19:7
<= That ain't me by-the-way. I don't wear a handlebar mustache.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/20/2008 9:15:50 PM
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usa777
Posts: 63
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I don't hold that double standard at all. I think I'm quite accepting of the fact that men aren't perfect. I don't even want perfect because nothing's perfect in this life. However, I've found that men don't respond to this anyway. Even when I accept them, they don't accept me.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/21/2008 12:21:15 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1760
Joined: 4/25/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaleorderBride
My question is in regards to the double standards women hold.
I've heard many women bitterly accuse men of the double standards they hold over women, but I've noticed that when it comes to dating, they will refuse to date a Christian man if he isn't absolutely faultless. But they will readily date a non-Christian man and defend his bad behavior with the words, "He's only human."
Why don't women extend the courtesy of being human, and therefore prone to making mistakes and poor decisions, to Christian men?
Often, Christian women complain about Christian men not asking them out. There are many many reasons for this that range from the perceived physical attractiveness of Christian women vs. non-Christian women - to a Christian man not wanting to lead on a Christian woman - or the conviction that that he must wait on God to bring a mate. However, in general, non-Christian men are more aggressive about letting you know that they like you. A lot. So, many Christian women will date a non-Christian man simply because they step up to the plate, and once she does that, if she likes him, she might start making excuses for him. Because he is not a Christian, she doesn't expect the same things. Think of it this way, if your 15 year old daughter makes you dinner for your birthday - and maybe the steak is a little tough - you will probably still enjoy it because you don't expect her to cook like a chef in a 5-star restaurant. However, at the restaurant - if your steak is tough ... well ... that is an entirely different story. The expectations are different.
But, that is just a surface answer to your question. There is something deeper here.
I used to feel the same way as you do, only as a woman, towards Christian men. But I really had to challenge my thinking on this issue. I came to the conclusion that this type of thinking was faulty and put a barrier between me and Christian men. The reality is that there are Christian men and women who date only other believers, and some that give lip service to it. (And some that date non-believers almost exclusively). I think that the willingness to accept faults in a fellow brother and sister in Christ has a lot to do with maturity level and growth in the Lord. I think it also has a lot to do with us understanding and accepting our own faults and foibles. Until a person gets to that point, a Christian man will always want the Proverbs 31 woman with Halle Berry looks - and will accept nothing less. On the flip side a Christian woman will want ... well Jesus, with Brad Pitt's looks - and will accept nothing less. While there is nothing wrong with desiring someone who is godly and wanting them to be attractive to you as well, part of growth and maturity is understanding and accepting that no one is perfect - including your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
I also wonder if a lot of this is about fear as well. Not only the faulty thinking about what Christian men and women desire - but also the willingness to date and become deeply involved with "bad guys/bad girls" who really would not love, respect, and cherish you. Fear of intimacy as well and fear of being alone can take many forms in both men and women.
So, perhaps the way to think about it is that there are many people at different stages of growth and development. If a woman is unwilling to accept you because of a flaw - but accepts someone else with that same flaw - perhaps there are is more going on underneath than meets the eye.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/21/2008 1:28:44 PM
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MaleorderBride
Posts: 64
Joined: 9/28/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
quote:
ORIGINAL: MaleorderBride
My question is in regards to the double standards women hold.
I've heard many women bitterly accuse men of the double standards they hold over women, but I've noticed that when it comes to dating, they will refuse to date a Christian man if he isn't absolutely faultless. But they will readily date a non-Christian man and defend his bad behavior with the words, "He's only human."
Why don't women extend the courtesy of being human, and therefore prone to making mistakes and poor decisions, to Christian men?
Often, Christian women complain about Christian men not asking them out. There are many many reasons for this that range from the perceived physical attractiveness of Christian women vs. non-Christian women - to a Christian man not wanting to lead on a Christian woman - or the conviction that that he must wait on God to bring a mate. However, in general, non-Christian men are more aggressive about letting you know that they like you. A lot. So, many Christian women will date a non-Christian man simply because they step up to the plate, and once she does that, if she likes him, she might start making excuses for him. Because he is not a Christian, she doesn't expect the same things. Think of it this way, if your 15 year old daughter makes you dinner for your birthday - and maybe the steak is a little tough - you will probably still enjoy it because you don't expect her to cook like a chef in a 5-star restaurant. However, at the restaurant - if your steak is tough ... well ... that is an entirely different story. The expectations are different.
But, that is just a surface answer to your question. There is something deeper here.
I used to feel the same way as you do, only as a woman, towards Christian men. But I really had to challenge my thinking on this issue. I came to the conclusion that this type of thinking was faulty and put a barrier between me and Christian men. The reality is that there are Christian men and women who date only other believers, and some that give lip service to it. (And some that date non-believers almost exclusively). I think that the willingness to accept faults in a fellow brother and sister in Christ has a lot to do with maturity level and growth in the Lord. I think it also has a lot to do with us understanding and accepting our own faults and foibles. Until a person gets to that point, a Christian man will always want the Proverbs 31 woman with Halle Berry looks - and will accept nothing less. On the flip side a Christian woman will want ... well Jesus, with Brad Pitt's looks - and will accept nothing less. While there is nothing wrong with desiring someone who is godly and wanting them to be attractive to you as well, part of growth and maturity is understanding and accepting that no one is perfect - including your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
I also wonder if a lot of this is about fear as well. Not only the faulty thinking about what Christian men and women desire - but also the willingness to date and become deeply involved with "bad guys/bad girls" who really would not love, respect, and cherish you. Fear of intimacy as well and fear of being alone can take many forms in both men and women.
So, perhaps the way to think about it is that there are many people at different stages of growth and development. If a woman is unwilling to accept you because of a flaw - but accepts someone else with that same flaw - perhaps there are is more going on underneath than meets the eye.
Thank you rgod for your thoughts. Much of your post makes sense. Some of it, however, doesn't jive with what I have experienced.
I have absolutely no problem with stepping up to the plate and asking a lady from my church, or other congregations for that matter, to go out with me. sometimes they accept, sometimes they don't. I accept that as the rule. Some women will be interested in going out with me and some won't. The problem comes up when a mutual friend tells me that they were turned off by my past, which wasn't pretty, but they inevitably begin dating some cowboy that isn't a Christian and drinks, smokes/chews, uses recreational drugs and/or deals on the side and has a history of treating his women with no more tenderness they would a coyote that's caught stalking a new calf.
I've turned to the Lord and He's cleaned up my life. They are offended by the fact that I've done some terrible things in my past, yet they are totally accepting of these guys who are currently doing it without apology and have no interest in stopping.
And as far as people who date non-Christians, exclusively or not, what do they do with 2 Corinthians 6:14,15 which states, very clearly, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common. Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" No matter what level of maturity a believer is at, they cannot dispute something stated as clearly and absolutely as that.
I have accepted and understand my own "faults and foibles" as you put it, and I have joyfully embraced my future as a child of God. I've been forgiven of my past sins and will continue to confess and repent of my future sins while continuing to grow in my relationship with Christ and the Father. I also understand that every Christian out there, who is serious about their relationship with our Lord, are in the same situation. Forgiven and human. Why can't the women who hold a man's nature against him accept him as someone who is still growing and will never stop growing as long as he's in this life, after all, they possess the very same nature.
I hope I'm not sounding bitter. I'm not. I'm simply confused by this.
_____________________________
Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 19:7
<= That ain't me by-the-way. I don't wear a handlebar mustache.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/21/2008 1:34:02 PM
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MaleorderBride
Posts: 64
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quote:
ORIGINAL: I-Luv-My-Flowers
^^^^^^
I second what RGod said.
Also, Christian women don't do this to just men. Some of the ladies in my church look at me sideways because I'm not pristine and perfect. I've learned to ignore them, but it's been hard.
I think it's sometimes difficult for people to understand that though we all sin, we each have different sins that we have to contend with. When confronted with someone's else's problems, many first reactions are, "Why would you have a problem with that? I never do!"
Like RGod said, this has a lot to do with our fear of intimacy and lack of trust. It takes a lot of maturity to accept that someone has a problem you don't understand. Often, picking at people and analyzing their problems gives a sense of control and a feeling that maybe there is something that we can do about it.
It is much more difficult to acknowledge that maybe someone's problems will be fixed in the Lord's timing and we need to wait patiently for the Lord to bring it about.
Is this something common to women? I've never met a Christian man who condemns another person for a sin he doesn't personally contend with. They may make the occasional comment that they're "...glad they don't have that problem." But only because they have enough to deal with already. Not meant as a condemnation.
_____________________________
Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 19:7
<= That ain't me by-the-way. I don't wear a handlebar mustache.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/21/2008 2:13:32 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1760
Joined: 4/25/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaleorderBride
I hope I'm not sounding bitter. I'm not. I'm simply confused by this.
You don't sound bitter to me. I totally understand your confusion.
quote:
Thank you rgod for your thoughts. Much of your post makes sense. Some of it, however, doesn't jive with what I have experienced.
I have absolutely no problem with stepping up to the plate and asking a lady from my church, or other congregations for that matter, to go out with me. sometimes they accept, sometimes they don't. I accept that as the rule. Some women will be interested in going out with me and some won't.
This is great that you step up to the plate. A lot of other Christian men don't for various reasons. In speaking with Christian men, I came to understand why many don't. I think it makes things harder because as Christian women, we often won't because many of us feel that isn't our role. In mentioning this, I was trying to explain why some Christian women might start going out with a non-Christian man. Once they do, they can fall into this trap of thinking that they can change him or in making excuses for him. This happens a lot more than many women want to admit. I'm really sorry that you've had a hard time with women who couldn't accept your past. This happens to women too and I find it heartbreaking that this kind of thing takes place in the body of Christ. We should not recrucify one another - yet very often this happens.
quote:
The problem comes up when a mutual friend tells me that they were turned off by my past, which wasn't pretty, but they inevitably begin dating some cowboy that isn't a Christian and drinks, smokes/chews, uses recreational drugs and/or deals on the side and has a history of treating his women with no more tenderness they would a coyote that's caught stalking a new calf. I've turned to the Lord and He's cleaned up my life. They are offended by the fact that I've done some terrible things in my past, yet they are totally accepting of these guys who are currently doing it without apology and have no interest in stopping.
...
Why can't the women who hold a man's nature against him accept him as someone who is still growing and will never stop growing as long as he's in this life, after all, they possess the very same nature.
Actually, this is what I was addressing when I was talking about faults and foibles - it wasn't directed at you but the women that you were speaking of. (And even those words - faults and foibles are a bit light - perhaps sin would be better to use). There are many people who erect a double standard - they are ok with the world, but not ok with a Christian who had an issue in the past and has overcome it - or might still be struggling. I think that this can be an issue of growth and maturity on the part of the person who is rejecting the Christian. Once you see your own faults, your own struggles, your own sin, and you experience Jesus' forgiveness and acceptance, it is easier for you to accept someone else. You realize that you aren't perfect, so you can give and extend grace to other people. The point that I'm making is that it isn't so much that Christian women or Christian men for that matter are uniformly holding their brothers and sisters to different standards. It has a lot more to do with where you are in relationship to understanding the finished work of Christ - your understanding of grace - and your understanding of your own sin and faults. Once you understand that, you stop erecting the double standard because you realize that you can't meet it yourself. And you also have compassion and love, because you really know the love of Christ. Unfortunately a lot of Christians don't know this or are growing in this area.
Another thing is that there are people who say that they are ready for marriage or a committed relationship but they aren't. So what they do is date people who are unattainable in some way. The "bad boy" who will treat them badly. The "bad girl" who will treat them badly. Sometimes too, our own eyes need to be opened so that we don't paint all Christian men or women with the same brush.
This is a subtle twist on the same type of thing that I've experienced in my own life. The facts are that there are wonderful loving attractive Christian women who are out there who'd love to go out with a guy like you. But it will be harder to see them if you think that Christian women won't give Christian brothers the time of day - instead of realizing that the women who are doing this - dating non-Christian men and accepting poor treatment - have issues that need to be addressed. Am I making sense? I'm not trying to be harsh with you but to warn you of a pitfall. The enemy would love to convince us that there are no good ones out there - or that we'll be rejected by one another - or something else - so that there would be disunity in the body - or to make you cross over from simple confusion to bitterness.
The truth is Maleorder, you are too good of a catch to be sidetracked by a few women who cannot see your worth. And God is too good to put you here and not to have others who will accept you exactly as you are. So I want to encourage you to keep moving and looking - there are definitely some wonderful women out there - even if your experience thus far has shown you otherwise.
quote:
And as far as people who date non-Christians, exclusively or not, what do they do with 2 Corinthians 6:14,15 which states, very clearly, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common. Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" No matter what level of maturity a believer is at, they cannot dispute something stated as clearly and absolutely as that.
I totally agree with this. However, some Christians know this and do it anyway. Then later, they are surprised when they start running into problems with that person.
quote:
I have accepted and understand my own "faults and foibles" as you put it, and I have joyfully embraced my future as a child of God. I've been forgiven of my past sins and will continue to confess and repent of my future sins while continuing to grow in my relationship with Christ and the Father. I also understand that every Christian out there, who is serious about their relationship with our Lord, are in the same situation. Forgiven and human.
This is good. I never thought that you didn't have a mature understanding of the grace of Christ and the redemptive work of His Blood - and certainly never meant to imply that.
quote:
Is this something common to women? I've never met a Christian man who condemns another person for a sin he doesn't personally contend with. They may make the occasional comment that they're "...glad they don't have that problem." But only because they have enough to deal with already. Not meant as a condemnation.
I've met guys who want women to be perfect or have had problems with women who've had a past - particularly if a woman has had sexual sin in her past. Again, I think though that as you grow, you learn to accept and love people. Sometimes however, there are other issues. For example, a person who grew up with alcoholism in the family and has struggled to be free of issues surrounding that, might have a really hard time with someone who was an alcoholic in the past. They might be afraid of repeating a cycle. But if that is the case, then they wouldn't want to date anyone who has issues with alcohol - saved or unsaved (if they even decide to date an unsaved person).
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RE: Double Standards - 10/21/2008 5:58:45 PM
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MaleorderBride
Posts: 64
Joined: 9/28/2008
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I understood what you were saying and implying. I was simply statng my position. Also nothing you said was too harsh. But I thank you for the clarifications all the same.
The sexual sins of the past are what I've seen ladies most ready to hold against a person, male or female. It's like they are keeping a supply of Scarlet A's ready to sew onto everyones breasts. I've also met a few guys who think that way about a woman's sexual past. Those overgrown teenagers who want to date the "bad girls", but insist on marrying a virgin. However, these guys are non-Christians. The Christian guys that I know well refuse to make that an issue because they don't want someone to accuse them of "The pot calling the kettle black." KWIM?
_____________________________
Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 19:7
<= That ain't me by-the-way. I don't wear a handlebar mustache.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/21/2008 6:46:50 PM
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rgod
Posts: 1760
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaleorderBride
I understood what you were saying and implying. I was simply statng my position. Also nothing you said was too harsh. But I thank you for the clarifications all the same.
The sexual sins of the past are what I've seen ladies most ready to hold against a person, male or female. It's like they are keeping a supply of Scarlet A's ready to sew onto everyones breasts. I've also met a few guys who think that way about a woman's sexual past. Those overgrown teenagers who want to date the "bad girls", but insist on marrying a virgin. However, these guys are non-Christians. The Christian guys that I know well refuse to make that an issue because they don't want someone to accuse them of "The pot calling the kettle black." KWIM?
This is really interesting and I guess goes to show how different our individual experiences are. I've always expected that, given my age (mid thirties), 99.9% of the men that I meet will have had some sort of sexual part that includes sex outside of a marital context. I expect that he would have made mistakes or might have had struggles in different areas because that is part of life. I personally know no other women who think differently, with the exception of one friend who wants her future husband to be a virgin (it could happen, but it is highly unlikely since she is in her thirties). But, perhaps more younger women might feel this way - are you pursuing women who are in their early or mid 20s? I didn't when I was in my 20s, but others might feel this way ...
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RE: Double Standards - 10/21/2008 8:49:20 PM
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MaleorderBride
Posts: 64
Joined: 9/28/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
- are you pursuing women who are in their early or mid 20s?
Since I've been a Christian, I've been out with ladies as young as 24 and as old as 47. All have claimed to be Christians, or some branch thereof.
_____________________________
Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 19:7
<= That ain't me by-the-way. I don't wear a handlebar mustache.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/22/2008 11:48:00 PM
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song
Posts: 298
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Southern Florida
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaleorderBride
My question is in regards to the double standards women hold.
I've heard many women bitterly accuse men of the double standards they hold over women, but I've noticed that when it comes to dating, they will refuse to date a Christian man if he isn't absolutely faultless. But they will readily date a non-Christian man and defend his bad behavior with the words, "He's only human."
Why don't women extend the courtesy of being human, and therefore prone to making mistakes and poor decisions, to Christian men?
I think it's unfair and almost bitter sounding of you to ask such a question.
Since when are all women the same? Or every situation for that matter?
If you've personally been hurt by a certain woman maybe I can give some advice, but for such a broad, biased, mean spirited question there really isn't a lot to say.
_____________________________
Attempting to be... "joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer." ~Romans 12:12
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RE: Double Standards - 10/22/2008 11:50:52 PM
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song
Posts: 298
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Southern Florida
Status: offline
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quote:
Thank you rgod for your thoughts. Much of your post makes sense. Some of it, however, doesn't jive with what I have experienced.
I have absolutely no problem with stepping up to the plate and asking a lady from my church, or other congregations for that matter, to go out with me. sometimes they accept, sometimes they don't. I accept that as the rule. Some women will be interested in going out with me and some won't. The problem comes up when a mutual friend tells me that they were turned off by my past, which wasn't pretty, but they inevitably begin dating some cowboy that isn't a Christian and drinks, smokes/chews, uses recreational drugs and/or deals on the side and has a history of treating his women with no more tenderness they would a coyote that's caught stalking a new calf.
I've turned to the Lord and He's cleaned up my life. They are offended by the fact that I've done some terrible things in my past, yet they are totally accepting of these guys who are currently doing it without apology and have no interest in stopping.
And as far as people who date non-Christians, exclusively or not, what do they do with 2 Corinthians 6:14,15 which states, very clearly, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common. Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?" No matter what level of maturity a believer is at, they cannot dispute something stated as clearly and absolutely as that.
I have accepted and understand my own "faults and foibles" as you put it, and I have joyfully embraced my future as a child of God. I've been forgiven of my past sins and will continue to confess and repent of my future sins while continuing to grow in my relationship with Christ and the Father. I also understand that every Christian out there, who is serious about their relationship with our Lord, are in the same situation. Forgiven and human. Why can't the women who hold a man's nature against him accept him as someone who is still growing and will never stop growing as long as he's in this life, after all, they possess the very same nature.
I hope I'm not sounding bitter. I'm not. I'm simply confused by this.
There we go. Some personal experience. 
I think what that woman did was totally unfair. But don't give up on all of womankind!
_____________________________
Attempting to be... "joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer." ~Romans 12:12
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RE: Double Standards - 10/23/2008 12:10:39 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1760
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaleorderBride
quote:
ORIGINAL: rgod
- are you pursuing women who are in their early or mid 20s?
Since I've been a Christian, I've been out with ladies as young as 24 and as old as 47. All have claimed to be Christians, or some branch thereof.
Interesting age range MaleorderBride. I would have thought that if you found the attitude that you described, that it might be more prevalent among younger women who might not have been sexually active and thus, wanted a man who would be the same. I would think that the women in the mid 30's and 40s might be a bit more "forgiving" simply because by that time, many (but not all) of these women would have either had some experiences or - if they've been walking with Christ for a little while - would have had more time to experience His grace either in that or another area.
Regardless though, I'm sorry that you ran into women who weren't willing to extend grace to you. Please know that not all Christian women are like this - and I definitely pray that you'll meet a woman - whether it is a very good friend, a girlfriend, or a spouse, who will be able to demonstrate the grace of Christ towards you - and who will love and accept you as a new creation in Christ - just as she herself is a new creation. Or at least that you'll be able to witness this - even in the marriage of a friend - so that you can know in your heart that women like this exist and are more prevalent than your experience suggests.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/23/2008 9:46:22 AM
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MaleorderBride
Posts: 64
Joined: 9/28/2008
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Thank you rgod, I pray for the same thing.
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Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 19:7
<= That ain't me by-the-way. I don't wear a handlebar mustache.
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RE: Double Standards - 10/26/2008 5:37:26 PM
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hisprincess59
Posts: 116
Joined: 7/17/2007
From: Tulsa, OK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TNBelle
quote:
ORIGINAL: MaleorderBride
My question is in regards to the double standards women hold.
I've heard many women bitterly accuse men of the double standards they hold over women, but I've noticed that when it comes to dating, they will refuse to date a Christian man if he isn't absolutely faultless. But they will readily date a non-Christian man and defend his bad behavior with the words, "He's only human."
Why don't women extend the courtesy of being human, and therefore prone to making mistakes and poor decisions, to Christian men?
I don't have any experience with Christian dating, so please forgive me if I'm off-base here. But it seems to me that a Christian woman who would date a non-Christian man, then defend (or even just tolerate) his bad behavior, isn't a person you should necessarily expect anything logical from. Just saying, it isn't logical to begin with.
ditto
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but the mistakes are reasonable and we take responsibility for our errors and apologize. It is too uncomfortable to out of sync with each other so it doesn't last long. 
Charity 
